So … I think I’m accepting the fact that even though the 100 Days of Yoga happen every day, the journaling of the experience happens more like once a week at this point. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but I feel like the days are slipping by at an astonishingly rapid rate, and by the end of each day I’ve sort of lost the ability to put together coherent sentences, whether that applies to phone calls or blogging.
The big news about last week was that I had an audition for CCY. This was definitely the biggest audition I’ve had to date. Unfortunately, it’s impossible to control every factor, and there were certainly a few that were less than ideal, such as: 1) the fact that I woke up at 4:30 a.m. the morning before and ended up editing an annual report and 2) although I placed myself strategically so as to hopefully go toward the beginning of the round robin audition, they actually moved counter-clockwise, so I was toward the end.
As far as I’m concerned, there were a lot of really amazing teachers in that room. When my turn finally came around, I knew the competition was stiff. I got up to began teaching and (not surprisingly) got hit with that first rush of nervous adrenaline. I’ve learned to expect that and ride through it, though. What got me this time is that one of the “judges” was mouthing information to me for the five minutes I was teaching. I couldn’t make out what she was saying and, as a result, was very unfocused. After my five minutes were up I returned to my mat feeling like a complete failure. To the point where I was thinking, “I’ve made a horrible error in judgement. I should not be trying to do this as a profession.” As soon as the audition was finished, I rushed out (very unlike me), and called C., before trying to get myself together for a class I was teaching later that afternoon. A couple of hours later, I got an email from CCY telling me that I’d been added to their sub list.
The next morning, I returned to CCY to assist (which, I have to say, is getting more and more fun every time). After class ended, I went up to T. to apologize for bombing the day before. She looked legitimately confused, and told me she had no idea what I was talking about. She said that, of everyone in the room, three people had made the cut, and I was one of them. This was obviously a great relief (and shocking) to hear. But I have to say that, even at that, I’m amazed by how far off my gauge is for this stuff. With writing, my instincts are refined enough and its natural enough to me that I can generally tell when something is good or bad. With yoga, that’s just not there. I have no idea.
On a more positive note, I had a great time teaching this week. I really, really am growing to love that part of it all. I had to say good-bye to BBY as it was a bit of a conflict to work both there and at CCY. Sad to let it go, but I do feel it was the right choice.