Last night, C. and I went straight from South Station to sushi upon her arrival and ordered a table full of delicious rolls. We were sad to see some of it being carted off at the end of the night, our eyes having apparently been bigger than our stomachs. Another friend of mine has a saying, “No sushi left behind.” Unfortunately, C. and I couldn’t live up to the sacred adage. This morning, her bus was a bit delayed so we sat outside the coffee shop for a little bit as she sipped on coffee and I munched on banana bread (which was delicious, BTW–it was a good twelve hours on the food front).
After I deposited her back at the bus station, it was an “organizational day” for me. I paid my dues to Yoga Alliance to official register as a RYT 200, then signed up for a CPR class next week with a couple other girls from my TT class. With all of the money going out, I felt myself getting into a bit of a financial panic, but am trying not to freak out too badly, and to trust in what’s ahead. I basically took this summer off for TT, so things are tight now. Looking at jobs for teaching, I realized that I’m in this weird cycle: Most teaching jobs require 1-3 years’ experience … but how do I get that experience if I can’t qualify for a job? I’ve been working my way up in the same industry (publishing) for so long, that it feels weird to start over from scratch. I’m trusting in the universe, though, that if I keep doing the hard work, things will work out. It hasn’t failed me yet!
Today, I went to Barbara Benagh’s Master Class at BBY. As usual, we spent two hours doing only a few poses, but really working on the subtle alignment of them in an ass-kicking sort of way. This included lots of twists, leading up to Parivrtta Trikonasana and Parsva Bakasana (I was thrilled about the latter since I’ve been working on it the past few days in my home practice). We also did headstands and headstands. I was annoyed because I can do headstand consistently to my little hearts’ content at home, but I bailed in class today. There’s something about it in class that always makes me overthink that pose or something. Anyway, bailing aside I walked out of there with a yoga high. I love it when that happens.
It has arrived: The final stretch of teacher training. Today marked day one of ten. The morning of our first 10-day intensive, I was jarred awake by the elevator alarm in my building going off. Today, my fire alarm started beeping at 4:46 (I think the batteries are shot). I bolted out of bed and that was the end of sleep for me. That’s where the parallels between the two first days ended, though. It’s funny to look back at how anxious I was on that first day of TT; today I was chomping at the bit. There’s just nowhere else I’d rather be.
Today was great. Ryan led a morning practice, having us concentrate on our sartorius muscle. It was pretty brilliant and I could feel a distinct shift in my poses because of it. I also read in Light on Life last night that it’s critical to keep your mouth, jaw, and throat loose (by keeping your tongue slack), as well as keeping the back of your neck soft. It was crazy what a big difference this made. There was so much less tension, which made it easier to relax into the poses.
Barbara Benagh also came in for the afternoon as a guest lecturer. She focused on “subtle” yoga, which included chakra work and a lot of other eastern concepts. Our practice with her concentrated on the breath. It was a bit painful because her sequence happened to closely resemble Ryan’s from this morning. One can only handle so many chair poses in a single day but, still, it actually ended up being a perfect practice in terms of breathing through it.
In addition to starting up our last intensive, I’ve also decided to go ahead with my own personal 100 Days of Yoga challenge. One day down, 99 to go!
I’ve been quiet for the past few days because I took a bit of a yoga break to let my knee and toe heal up a bit. I think it worked! I noticed today that, without even my even consciously realizing anything had changed, I was completely pain free. Now I need to keep being gentle, but I’m delighted for the reprieve. For most of the week, I turned my attention toward other activities: I went kayaking on Wednesday and managed to turn a date into a SUP adventure today, which was fun. Yesterday I just totally chilled and spent a beach day with my friends at Plymouth.
I did go to one yoga class last week, a Master Class with Barbara Benagh. Much like the Master Class last week, we concentrated on pretty basic poses. We spent a lot of time at the beginning of class using a strap and a couple of yin poses to bring attention to our solar plexus, neck, and low back. For the rest of class, Barbara kept referencing our “memory” of these spots, so that we could make subtle adjustments, softening these areas in basic sun salutation and warrior poses. It was a brilliant way of teaching. She made a big point of telling us to concentrate on “patterns”–on breaking old habits and bringing attention to creating new, more productive patterns in their wake.
First of all, this made all the difference in the world in various asanas. Second of all, the message about old habits and patterns just really resonated with me in terms of my personal life as well. Really, that’s the crux of everything yoga has taught me in these past several weeks. Since I’ve been dating pretty regularly lately, I’ve been paying a lot of attention to how I am in that realm. I’ve realized it’s not a mistake that most of my relationships over the past few years have been long distance. It’s an easy way to keep things at bay. (I realize this now–I didn’t realize this at the time I was engaging in long distance relationships.) So, now, dating people who are actually accessible and local, I feel my own flight instincts coming out. I should add that this has no bearing on whether or not I actually like them. If I feel like there’s actual potential, I feel suffocated … like I need to run. Fast. If I was the sort of person who wanted to remain single, that would be one thing. But I don’t, so it’s just completely whack. For the first time ever, though, I’m pretty sure I have a handle on why I’m doing this, so I’m trying to fight against old patterns and stand still. To see what life might be like if I can develop new habits that serve me better and make my life a bit easier. It’s a work in progress.